I Follow My Heart
by Nonnihil Scelestus
Summary: I follow my heart, and there in your arms, is where I find the love I need.


Disclaimer: I don't own Sanctuary or the song "Whenever I Run" by Keith Urban

**I Follow My Heart**

_I've seen that darkness on the edge of town_

_The sun come up and the rain fall down_

_And I've been a fool; yeah I've been around._

He'd seen darkness. It was an integral part of him. He was a vampire. Everything he'd ever done could be construed as dark. He'd seen so many things in his long life. He'd seen the sun come up in far away places, seen the rainfall in exotic ones, making them even more mysterious. He'd been around the world, but he'd been a fool. He'd known that for the longest time. It had started the night John had proposed to her, right there in front of the them, the Five. He'd gotten down on one knee before her and asked for her hand in marriage, and she'd said yes, joy shining in her bright blues eyes. And he'd been a fool. He'd been in love with her too, but had been too foolish to ask her, too scared.

_And when the world got too much for me_

_I took off and left a memory_

_Thinking I'd find something better for me some how_

_Oh but now_

So he'd done what he did best when things got to be too much for him. He'd run away. He'd left them all with just his memory. He'd thought that if he wasn't around her, he'd find something better for him. Someone who could love him like he loved her. But it was futile. All he found was solitude and a growing coldness in his chest, that had nothing to do with being a vampire.

Years later, they reconnected. He'd saved her life by putting her in danger. He'd told her the truth that he'd kept locked in his heart. But she wasn't ready to hear it, not when John had suddenly reappeared. He had always shown up just when Nikola was on the verge of some profound thought that involved Helen. He'd been doing that since the Five were created, like he had some sixth sense when it came to Nikola and Helen. But not this time.

_Whenever I run_

_Instead of running into the blue_

_I follow my heart_

This time, John was going to stand in his way. There was nothing standing in his way. He was tired of running from her, from himself, from John, from his love. He was finally following his heart.

Nikola arrived that the Sanctuary on a rainy night, much like the one when he'd first run from the sight of John kneeling before her. He felt the lightning flash, more that he actually saw it. It was bold and brilliant, like him. He didn't bother to knock. He entered the house and headed straight for her office. It was time to tell her, and for her to understand that he meant it, that he wasn't running anymore.

He didn't bother knocking on her office door either. He just walked in. She was holding court with her underlings, the shrink and the werewolf. Her daughter was mysteriously absent, but he didn't pay that any attention. He would see the little spitfire later. Right now his focus was on Helen.

"Nikola, this is a surprise. Henry, Will, we'll finish this later." The two young men nodded and made a quick exit. Both had been on the receiving end of the vampire's temper and preferred to be somewhere else after seeing the intense look in his eyes. She rose to greet him with a hug, but took in his soaked person and sighed. "You're soaked to the skin. What were you doing walking in the rain?"

"I needed to gather my thoughts, and you know how much I like to play with lightning. And after my little jaunt I figured a few more rain drops wouldn't make any difference." She smiled at him then. She'd watched him once before, out playing in the rain. It was so fascinating to watch him play with the lightning as though it were a living thing. He caressed it and tossed it, caught it in his hands, and reveled in it. It was beautiful to watch.

"Come on, let's get you dried off, so you don't drip everywhere." She took his hand and led him out of her office and up the stairs to her own bedroom. She gently propelled him into her bathroom with a clean towel and then went to dig in her closet. She heard the door open a few minutes later, while she was still rifling through her cabinet. She turned and smiled at him standing boldly in her bedroom, nothing but a towel around his waist, his devilish smirk firmly in place.

"You know Helen, if you wanted me naked, you only had to ask." She blushed a little under his scrutiny before she turned back to her closet. She finally found what she was looking for. She pulled out two hangers. One held a tailor shirt and the other a pair of dark wash jeans.

"These aren't your usual style, but they are your size. I've always kept a set of clothes for you in my closet." She hadn't meant to admit the last part, but his smile was well worth it. He took the clothes from her and she turned quickly toward the closet again as he dropped his towel. The man had no shame. She dug in a drawer and came up with a pair of silk boxers that she threw over her shoulder for him.

"I take it you were saving these for me as well." He commented dryly.

"Of course, you're the only one I know who likes those." She heard his laugh and it warmed her heart.

"Finished." He breathed against her ear. She turned to face him, finding him only inches from her face.

"Nikola." His name whispered out of her lips to caress his own. She looked him in the eye, taking in his intensity. She'd seen it before and knew what was coming next. His lips brushed hers softly at first, a caress, before he deepened the kiss into something divine and delicious. Her arms wrapped around his neck and held him close, and she lost herself in his embrace.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. They were bluer with passion. He kissed her gently again, before hugging her, pulling her as close to him as possible.

"I love you, Helen. I have forever. I know I told you in Rome, and it was the wrong moment. But I really did mean it. I should have told you all those years ago, before John, but I could never find my nerve. I did what I did best. I took off. But I'm tired of running. Its time to follow my heart, and my heart says it loves you and needs you." Her hand came up to cup his cheek.

"I love you too, Nikola. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize. But the best is yet to come."

"Yes it is."

_And there in your arms_

_Is where I find the love I need_

_And the best is yet to come_

_Baby you're the one I run to._


End file.
